From WHY ME to THROUGH ME, How Our Experience Can Teach Us To Step Into Our Best Selves


Are you the victim in your story or are you harnessing the opportunity to learn from it?

In my early experience of living with epilepsy I lived as though life was happening TO ME and I was stuck there for a number of years.

I have to admit, life was ‘easier’ then because all I had to do was hide behind the vail of blame, or drown myself with alcohol or drugs rather than owning up to life and taking responsibility for my growth. The downside is that I wasn’t going anywhere and I really didn’t like life then as much as I do now.

Waking Up

When we live in the bubble of WHY ME, we miss out on the opportunities our struggles are here to offer us. Yes, this sounds easy to say, but I speak from my own experience and for those who I have worked with in the coaching arena.

When we are willing to do the deep work necessary to let go, we move into the idea that life is happening BY ME. During this time, we begin to take responsibility for our actions, and we realize that as we shift our thoughts, life improves.

There’s no doubt that we will bounce between the WHY ME and BY ME during this time, but as we do we learn what works and what doesn’t.

Playing the Bigger Game

As we continue to step into our brilliance and show up in the world, we learn to live from our authentic selves. It is during this time when we start to realize that life is not happening TO ME. At times it may feel as though life happens BY ME but when we really understand our gifts and our purpose, we step into the knowing that life is happening THROUGH ME or FOR ME.

We are co-creating our lives through our Thoughts, Feelings and Actions.  As we tune into our vision and our dreams, as well as paying close attention to our intuition, we can then take action towards that which is most important for us. The messages we receive which tell us to turn left when we usually turn right, talk to the person sitting next to us instead of tuning into the headphones, to call that important client, or to start writing a book are all part of the process of life happening THROUGH US and when we know that this is part of the plan, lots of amazing things happen…so long as we take action with intention.

Finding Opportunity

When we see that life is full of opportunities to learn, move, grow, love, evolve, expand, make a difference, create impact, or step into our brilliance, we will see the potential in every moment. We will be filled with new ideas. We will discover new energy which will fuel our desire to live intentionally each and every day.

Taking Action

What’s left is taking action. Nothing will happen to take you closer to your dreams unless you take action. Krishnamurti said that in order to go far, we must go near. Our next step is the most important step and each step after that is the most important step. When we focus all of our attention on the end game (the finish line) without paying attention to what’s right in front of us (the next step), we will stumble and if we keep stumbling we may never reach our destination.

Call To Action

What is your next step? Is it writing the title for your book? Perhaps it’s picking up the phone to call your friend to tell them you miss them. Or maybe it’s stepping back from the thing which is causing stress in your life so that you can reassess a more effective strategy.

Breaking down your goals into bitesized pieces is a great strategy and it will help you as you live your life on purpose. When life happens THROUGH YOU/FOR YOU it is much more exciting and meaningful than when it’s happening TO YOU so what can you do today to create a change in how you live your life?


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